Are you in the market for a giant penis? Can I interest you in a phallic body pillow? If so, this larger than life amigurumi penis pattern is for you!
Giant Penis Pillow Pattern
For this giant penis pillow we are using Bernat Blanket Extra – the thickest of the Bernat Blanket yarns. Maybe “thickest” isn’t the word I’m looking for here. š
Add this pattern to your Ravelry favorites for later. Use the free pattern below or grab theĀ printable PDF file in my Etsy shop. Thank you!
Materials:
1 ball Bernat Blanket Extra in “Burnt Rose”
5 balls Bernat Blanket Extra in “Almond”
Crochet hook in size P/15mm
A shit load of stuffing!
(Actually I used 5 old bed pillows that were older than shit, then cut them up to repurpose the stuffing.)
Finished dimensions:Ā Approx. 44″ circumference and 46″ tall
Pattern Notes:Ā
Pattern written using US terms.Ā
Penis Pattern:
Bottom:
Round 1: Magic Circle, 8hdc in circle (8)
Round 2: 2hdc in each st around. Do not join, work in a spiral, marking first st of each row with st marker. (16)
Round 3: * hdc in next st, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (24)
Round 4: * hdc in next 2 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (32)
Round 5: * hdc in next 3 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (40)
Round 6: * hdc in next 4 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (48)
Fasten off and weave in ends. Set aside.
Head:
Round 1: Magic Circle, 8hdc in circle (8)
Round 2: 2hdc in each st around. Do not join, work in a spiral, marking first st of each row with st marker. (16)
Round 3: * hdc in next st, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (24)
Round 4: * hdc in next 2 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (32)
Round 5: * hdc in next 3 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (40)
Round 6: * hdc in next 4 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (48)
Rounds 7 – 11: hdc in each st around. (48)
Do not fasten off, but leave a ~20″ long tail using the “burnt rose” color for shaping later.
Body:
Switch to āalmondā yarn, sl st in third loop only in each hdc around. Do not join, work in a spiral throughout. (48)
Rounds 12 – 40: Hdc in each st around. (48)
Testicles:
Make two š
Round 1: Magic Circle, 8hdc in circle. Do not join, work in a spiral, marking first st of each row with st marker. (8)
Round 2: 2hdc in each st around. (16)
Round 3: * hdc in next st, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (24)
Round 4: * hdc in next 2 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (32)
Round 5: * hdc in next 3 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (40)
Round 6: * hdc in next 4 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (48)
Rounds 7 – 10: hdc in each st around. (48)
Round 11: * hdc in 4 sts, hdc2tog * repeat between * * around. (40)
Round 12: * hdc in 3 sts, hdc2tog * repeat between * * around. (32)
Round 13: * hdc in 2 sts, hdc2tog * repeat between * * around. (24)
Fasten off, leaving long tails for sewing onto the shaft.
Construction:
Flip penis over so the head is on the floor. Lay the flat circle on top and sc through both layers: the last row of the shaft, and the circle. Sc all the way around, fasten off and weave in all ends.
Position the two testicles so that where they meet in the middle lines up with the center of the head. Sew testicles into place securely. Use one or two stitches in between the two to keep them touching and offer stability. Weave in all ends.
Head shaping:
Where you clipped the “burnt rose” color, cinch up any holes and feed the yarn up ~3 rows, then back through to the inside of the amigurumi and back to where you started. Don’t be afraid to tug a little to create the indent/shaping at the top. Weave in all ends and you are finished!
I hope you love your giant penis pillow. ♥
Here’s more fun crochet:
Free Upside Down Pineapples Crochet Pattern
Blow Me Beanie: Free Kink Crochet Pattern
Brilliant.
I love this!!! Iām almost done with mine! Thanks so much for the pattern!! Itās AWESOME!
Iām stumbled across your blog today and this was the first thing I saw. I think Iām gonna like it here, lol!
My cousin wanted to commission a crochet penis and we came across your pattern. It started as a joke and I now have a 3 foot penis on my coffee table. I used bernat baby blanket yarn and a size 10 hook and it came out fantastic. Thank you so much for this pattern!!!