Giant Penis Pillow: Free Amigurumi Penis Crochet Pattern

Are you in the market for a giant penis? Can I interest you in a phallic body pillow? If so, this larger than life amigurumi penis pattern is for you!

Giant Penis Pillow Pattern

For this giant penis pillow we are using Bernat Blanket Extra – the thickest of the Bernat Blanket yarns. Maybe “thickest” isn’t the word I’m looking for here. 😛

Add this pattern to your Ravelry favorites for later!

Materials:

1 ball Bernat Blanket Extra in “Burnt Rose”
5 balls Bernat Blanket Extra in “Almond”

Crochet hook in size P/15mm

A shit load of stuffing!

(Actually I used 5 old bed pillows that are older than shit, then cut them up to repurpose the stuffing.)

Finished dimensions:

Approx. 44″ circumference and 46″ tall

Penis Pattern:

Bottom:

Round 1: Magic Circle, 8hdc in circle (8)

Round 2: 2hdc in each st around. Do not join, work in a spiral, marking first st of each row with st marker. (16)

Round 3: * hdc in next st, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (24)

Round 4: * hdc in next 2 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (32)

Round 5: * hdc in next 3 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (40)

Round 6: * hdc in next 4 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (48)

Fasten off and weave in ends. Set aside.

Head:

Round 1: Magic Circle, 8hdc in circle (8)

Round 2: 2hdc in each st around. Do not join, work in a spiral, marking first st of each row with st marker. (16)

Round 3: * hdc in next st, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (24)

Round 4: * hdc in next 2 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (32)

Round 5: * hdc in next 3 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (40)

Round 6: * hdc in next 4 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (48)

Rounds 7 – 11: hdc in each st around. (48)

Do not fasten off, but leave a ~20″ long tail using the “burnt rose” color for shaping later.

Body:

Switch to “almond” yarn, sl st in third loop only in each hdc around. Do not join, work in a spiral throughout. (48)

Rounds 12 – 40: Hdc in each st around. (48)

Testicles:

Make two 😉

Round 1: Magic Circle, 8hdc in circle. Do not join, work in a spiral, marking first st of each row with st marker. (8)

Round 2: 2hdc in each st around. (16)

Round 3: * hdc in next st, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (24)

Round 4: * hdc in next 2 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (32)

Round 5: * hdc in next 3 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (40)

Round 6: * hdc in next 4 sts, 2hdc in next * repeat between * * around. (48)

Rounds 7 – 10: hdc in each st around. (48)

Round 11: * hdc in 4 sts, hdc2tog * repeat between * * around. (40)

Round 12: * hdc in 3 sts, hdc2tog * repeat between * * around. (32)

Round 13: * hdc in 2 sts, hdc2tog * repeat between * * around. (24)

Fasten off, leaving long tails for sewing onto the shaft.

Construction:

Flip penis over so the head is on the floor. Lay the flat circle on top and sc through both layers: the last row of the shaft, and the circle. Sc all the way around, fasten off and weave in all ends.

Position the two testicles so that where they meet in the middle lines up with the center of the head. Sew testicles into place securely. Use one or two stitches in between the two to keep them touching and offer stability. Weave in all ends.

Head shaping:

Where you clipped the “burnt rose” color, cinch up any holes and feed the yarn up ~3 rows, then back through to the inside of the amigurumi and back to where you started. Don’t be afraid to tug a little to create the indent/shaping at the top. Weave in all ends and you are finished!

I hope you love your giant penis pillow. ♥